In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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