its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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