literally had 100 drinks last night.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
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the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize