Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
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