There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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