WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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