I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
did i walk over a car last night?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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