I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize