Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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