Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize