i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize