At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This baby is an asshole
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize