I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize