Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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