would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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