I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize