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The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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