How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize