i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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