he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize