I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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