I'm going to jail i love you
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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