Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize