girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize