I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize