Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
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Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
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We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
you never un-have a 4some
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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