If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
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I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
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Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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