these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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