In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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