my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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