I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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