Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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