my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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