Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize