he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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