I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize