Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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