I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
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woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
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Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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