like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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