Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize