1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize