Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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