No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
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