If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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