I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
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Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
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So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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