maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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