We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
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You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
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so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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