remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize