Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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