just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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